Densho Digital Archive - Michiko Kornhauser Interview (denshovh-kmichiko

<Begin Segment 19>

SG: And you, at the same time, you wanted to stay in the United States?

MK: Well, that's because I met my husband at the East-West Center. And when I came back from University of Washington, because of the time difference, I got up early in the morning next day, and I went to the cafeteria. I went down. I saw Doctor Anderson, head of Asian Studies Department, and then he was sitting with another gentleman, and that was Dave Kornhauser. And then we introduced each other, and he came over and then said, "Please come to my office. I'd like to talk to you because I did PhD in Okayama at the Michigan Center." So later on, I went there to his office, and then he said, "After you finish your grantee scholarship, why don't you become my research assistant and stay in this country?" But by looking at him, I could tell from his eyes that it wouldn't end there. Men are very honest, you know. So I said, well, different vibration coming. So I said, well, after February, that was in August, and then I said, "I have to go back to Japan in February." And then he said, "Well, I can do something," he can do something so that I can stay on. But still, it's very strict for Japanese foreign students in this country. With the student visa, they have to be out of the country in two years, and then so I told him that that's not going to work. And besides, he looked much older. And then I began to do some research on him because obviously he was interested in me. And one of the students who lived in the same dormitory said, "Why do you ask about him? He's a peculiar man. He was married before. His wife just died. And you should find a younger man." Well, that's the way it went. And then, but then Dave and I exchanged the name cards, and then that's where it ended. And then I said, "If I start dating this man, I knew it's going to become serious. He means business, and I have to be ready for that, and this I'm ready for that. I'm not going to have anything to do with this man."

And so after the scholarship was over, I went back when I gave that talk at the International House in Roppongi. Then I went back to the Okayama University Medical School and then began to teach there. At the same time, I was given a job to teach public health at the school for nurses attached to the medical school and then also worked as a research assistant in the public health department. Then the summer vacation came, and then I was more interested in studying, continue to study, something to do with international understanding or international studies, so I went to the department, political science department and so on, different from medical school. Medical school is on this part of the city and then general education that be different, law school and so on is different places, so I went over there to register. Then after that registration for the international studies, I was having, I came to the student cafeteria, and it's all full except for one seat. When I sat there, in Japan, we usually introduce each other, when we sit together. And I said to him, "My name is such and such." He looked at me and said, he's a professor obviously. He said, "Oh, my name is such and such," he said. "Do you know Professor Kornhauser?" So I said, "Yeah." "You're Michiko Osui?" "Yeah." He says, "He was looking for you. He was here with a graduate student touring Japan, but he just left, but he's coming back next summer." Then I knew he was still interested in me. And then his students used to come with all kinds of messages. He'd send special aloha to you and so on. Then I said, hmmm. Then I began to think, well, let's wait for another year and see what will happen. Meanwhile, I decided to look around, so I had more kind of meeting other gentlemen and so on. Then one day, I was invited out to dinner by a classmate of mine from elementary school days. He had somebody else with him, vice president of some organization. As we had steak dinner, very nice, this man said, "You have a good job, so you don't have to worry about financially, but you don't seem to have any pleasure. This man will give it to you." When I heard it, and then this man also said, "You must have learned some different techniques in Hawaii. That's beyond me." I knew I was in the wrong place, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom and run away and went home, and that was that.

Then I began to work, and I needed money for my brother's education, younger brother's education, so I began to work as a kind of a translator for some corporation which wanted to do business with the United States. Then first that weekend was fine. The next weekend came, the man called me up and then said, "You know, my wife objected, so you can't come," so I lost the job. And my wife was so jealous. She doesn't want you to sit next to me, so another job was gone. And then also for a while, I worked for the bedridden old man who once had something to do with California, and then I did that for a while. And a whole year passed, and then I got a letter from the East-West Center saying that Professor Kornhauser is bringing a student. "Would you represent the East-West Center in the Okayama prefecture?" So I said, okay. So when I went to the station to greet them, he was there. Everybody else was there. We said hello, and he said, "Could you have dinner with me tonight?" So I did, and then, "Would you like to go see a movie?" Well, he was there for two weeks. We went out every night. Then I brought, since I was treated for dinner, I wanted to reciprocate, so I invited him to come to my house. You see my mother thought the age difference between Dave and I was something like eighteen, but the difference in age between my mother and him was eight, so my mother thought I brought him for her. So my mother was very nice to him because I did this before when I was a student at Okayama University. I took this biology professor to my mother because both of them are not married that they would go along very well, but somehow it didn't work. So my mother was so nice to Dave, so I knew right away that she misunderstood, but then I couldn't tell that. And then after a while, it became evident. Then my mother's attitude changed, and I learned how scary it is when a mother becomes a woman. I really learned. I thought that I would be murdered because she used to torture me like in the middle of the night because I work at medical school, eight hours in the daytime, maybe even longer, come home, then tutor sometimes students in English and so on, homework, and I'm exhausted and then go to bed at about midnight. The next morning, I had to get up about six o'clock to go to medical school. She would wake me up and start talking about how horrible it is to marry an American and how, "Your father was killed by an American," and all these things. Maybe this man may be a professor right now, but who knows, may came in Europe. Maybe his ancestor came from a kind of poor, dirt farmer's background and all these things. She was ready to investigate, the past history and all that stuff and was going to tell Dr. Reisher who happened to be the ambassador at the time to make sure that this man would never come back to Japan and all these threats that I went through. And then every day, Dave kept writing love letters sent express, you know. About 8:30 in the morning, the motorcycle would come and then love letter arrives and that driving my mother up the wall. And then that was the hardest time in my life. It was the hardest time. And then finally, he said that tour is ending, "And I want you to come up to Kobe, and we'll get married." And I said, well, I think, but I can't have any kind of ceremony because my mother wouldn't allow it. And he said, "Who cares, all you have to do is sign the paper." So I said, "Okay. If you say so." Besides, I was not that much, I never thought about for marriage it was that important. I would rather go up to the top of the mountain and declare to each other we got married. That's the kind of feeling I had about marriage. So I just went along. I felt just fine, and then he was somebody that I could trust. I felt that I could trust this man, and I was always, I always the leader of the family, the siblings, brothers and sister always, they are tagging along, they're always looking up to me, and I wanted to get somebody who would just pull me up. And he felt, I felt that he was just perfect for me. So, no matter what my mother said, I was ready to... yeah.

So when I, finally, I had to leave home. I had only thirty minutes before the train left and only five minutes to, next station. I told my mother that I'm leaving. My mother said, "I'll disown you and consider you dead." But I told my mother, "If I were eighteen, when I was eighteen, I listened to you, but now I'm twenty-eight now and have lived in the United States by myself. I think I know what I'm getting into," although I didn't, but I told my mother and then just wrapped up things about, in this much, bag. That's all I brought to this country, and then rushed to the station. The train was leaving. I just hopped on and went to Kobe and got married. That's the way I came to this country.