<Begin Segment 24>

RP: Margaret, your... how did your experience translate to, your camp experience, translate to your, your children? I met, I met Sue yesterday and she told me that she had been really moved by the camp experience to get involved in some of these earlier pilgrimages.

MS: Yeah.

RP: Were you, were you part of that awareness for her?

MS: Actually no. You know, that was like, they say the Sanseis are really the ones that were being active in terms of the pilgrimages and so... and then I wasn't because in a sense, I think I had already resolved all of my issues in terms of Manzanar and the camp and all. And actually I was grateful. I've often called this the worst year of my life and yet it's a seed of, of a real good in my life. And part of it was the recognition of some of the Japanese culture and strengths and also, you know after, after I had that I thought, "Oh, that's fine." And I was very content. But I did have a personal experience, kind of a crisis. I had a personal crisis. And I thought well, if I were Christian I would pray. If I were Zen I would, you know, person, I would meditate. And I'm not a Christian and I'm not Buddhist. So what do I do? And yet this one experience had come when I was trying to write my thesis on Zen Buddhism. So I thought I would try to meditate. And I'd never meditated in my life. So I thought well, I will you know, clear myself. And, so I went through stages of kind of releasing everything, emotional, mental. And then I took the energy -- oh, I felt, all right now I came to a state where I could be like floating. So there were no attachments or no desires. You know, I didn't want, particularly, I wanted to be... okay, just very, very open. Because I was gonna ask a question and... and so I did. -- I took the energy of that crisis and I shot it up and opened and then I did have energy pouring in. So I stopped the mediation and I called Dr. Suzuki and said, "I need to speak to you." So he said, "Well, come on up." And I went on up and told him what had happened. And he said that's what's supposed to happen. So, I said, okay. I went back, meditated. Did the same thing and I did get that. And it is... is a very interesting thing. Because over the time, I could feel that there were processes going on within the body that, and in amongst time I could tell definite differences and then it went on. And then I felt I was whole again. Like I felt in childhood, when I went out in nature. And I thought, and so I just kept on going and that was, it seemed like that got stronger and stronger. So it was like... and I think that was like the source of my mother's, kind of a simplicity power. Yeah. But, anyway, it, I realized that that gave you the inner freedom to do many things that you would not have done before. So that was when it was, and, and later I went around the world by myself, you know, very freely out. And not going to hotels, you know, conventional hotels. And, yeah, so it's been a source. So that's, that's one good thing that came out of... and I think many, many things in life, I think many of the negative things in life we, if we learn from it or, then it's been a strength. Yeah, so it's...

RP: So what was it like to come back here this weekend for you?

MS: To where?

RP: What was it like to come back to Manzanar this weekend?

MS: Oh, it was, well, I think the best thing was actually in this museum. Because I saw the great changes that had taken... you see, my memories of Manzanar were really not that, would not be that pleasant. So, so that was very nice. And I had already kind of released everything in terms of my emotional feelings about Manzanar, that turmoil that first came, so. So it was, it was good remembrance. I think the, the thing that touched me most was actually today when I went to the monument and there was no one there. Well, there was actually somebody that had been walking around, but. And then I went to the mountains. Because in Manzanar I think the things that gave me the most comfort, I walked to the end of the camp grounds and then I would face the mountains and sit. And I couldn't see any of the barracks but I could just see the mountains, you know, the mountains. And if I... and they, yeah, they, they were very helpful. Yeah.

KP: Can I tie that back to when you were a kid in La Crescenta?

MS: Yes. Uh-huh.

KP: Did you not also --

MS: Yes. Uh-huh.

KP: -- the mountains.

MS: Yes, yeah.

<End Segment 24> - Copyright © 2009 Manzanar National Historic Site and Densho. All Rights Reserved.