<Begin Segment 37>

LH: May, a little earlier you were describing the whole process of being a little girl, Kimi-chan, turning into May, and then starting to work with the cultural diversity program. And at one point you spoke with somebody about your name.

MS: Right. We were all discussing, members of the cultural team that was gonna do some training out on Lake Washington. And so we had a group of people who were quizzing us about what our experiences were and what our credentials were for being on that training team. And at one point this lady said to me, "Don't you have a Japanese first name?" And I said, "Yes," and she said, "Why don't you use it? You must not be very proud of being Japanese. How can you be on this team?" And I remember breaking down and crying. I couldn't explain to her why I had given up that name and how because I had recently regained my feeling of pride and everything, I didn't want to use it because it was special now. It's hard for me to explain that but at the beginning I didn't want the name, and then later I wanted to use it but it had to be special. So I didn't want people just to use it because I had become a newly -- what is it -- identified as a Japanese American. That was special to me, and I didn't want to explain that to her. So I remember just breaking down and crying. I felt like saying it was none of your business but I think it was later on I was able to explain it to her personally. Because she was of Japanese background, too, so she thought that it was odd that I wouldn't ever use my Japanese name.

LH: At this point in your life, then, do you feel comfortable with your Japanese American-ness?

MS: Oh yes. In fact, I feel pretty good about that part of me. The only thing I do miss is that I wish I had learned the Japanese language because I think I could have communicated better with the other (obasans) that I knew, and my own mother, who really didn't speak a whole lot of English. And she spoke English that was the way we could communicate, but I don't think she could ever go into any details of everything because that's in Japanese. And so I really felt -- and then, of course, when she got older and was not quite -- she had to be put in Keiro for the last few years of her life -- she spoke only Japanese then and it was so hard because I couldn't really talk to her as well. Because the only Japanese I knew was kind of a babyish Japanese baby language but I do notice that I use Japanese baby talk a lot with my own grandchild, nen-ne, man-ma, nai-nai. All Japanese baby talk. And I'm glad that my grandson is taken that naturally as a real language for him, too, because he'll say back to me, "Nen-ne, so I know he's catching on. And we don't want to lose all of that. So I wish I had more of the Japanese language, but the other kinds of things I've been reading about and we've taken a trip to Japan. It's not quite the same, but still I can appreciate more of what it is to being Japanese and how that's great.

<End Segment 37> - Copyright © 1997 Densho. All Rights Reserved.