<Begin Segment 23>

BF: You must like people, too. There's some people who like people and some people who are less social.

TM: Yeah. I feel I have something to talk to about with almost anybody. I guess starting with the president. I don't know. I guess we talked about Chelsea. I feel comfortable, even in Japan, talking to most people about something. And I think that's important. That's a good point. Well, I guess we shouldn't beat up on the Sanseis, but the trait of Nisei-Sanseis, a lot of them are not comfortable speaking to people other than their, strictly peers. I got this story, had some guests from Japan, so I invited my sister, naturally. And she had two couples from California. And so my brother-in-law, three of them sat there from 6 to 11 o'clock. And the wives I know a little bit were going around talking to everybody. And the three of them just sat there from 6:00 to 11:00. I couldn't understand it. Just sit there and talking to themselves. But I, I don't know. I just said, "Wow." Looked like very intelligent, nice people. But they just didn't mix.

BF: And you see that as a missed opportunity, kind of a shame?

TM: Well, yeah. Two-way, a shame. My friends that were sitting here, they weren't doing much better, but they didn't talk to each other at all.

BF: It seems like, I know a lot of my non-Nikkei friends, especially some of the folks who I met in law school, were kind of, attracts a different crowd than undergraduate, they came from wealthier families who -- and so they were brought up to understand the importance of social skills and knowing how to interact and learning to like people and not be afraid.

TM: I was at the lunch for -- not lunch, but lecture by Mandela yesterday.

BF: Oh.

TM: And I couldn't understand a lot of it because of the accent. But that's what, one of the things he said. He said, "Unless you're willing to do some of the things we're talking about," I think he said something like, "If you do those things, then you could become the president, like Gore, vice president like Gore, Clinton," or, and he said some of those things. He says, "Go out and meet people and talk to them, and don't do drugs." But basically, what we're saying and I'm telling you, that Sanseis are not doing some of those things, yeah. Or the Niseis, starting with the Niseis.

BF: Yeah, because I have heard that from other people who are close to you, and I asked them to describe you. And they, the first thing that comes to mind is always your, your graciousness, your hospitality, your genuineness. You seem to really just like being around people and are, and are a wonderful host. Do you think, I mean is that something that just came naturally, or did you have to work to be not shy?

TM: Well, that's where my mother's culture comes from. She was raised with that type of open, serve tea, and all this stuff, thing, and open house. That's where -- I think, I'm guessing my brothers and sisters are, all of us are like that a little bit.

BF: Good, good. Well was, at this point, is there anything that you would like to add or talk about because I know we're getting close.

TM: What time is it?

BF: Yeah, it's almost 1:30.

TM: No, not really. I think you covered a lot of things. I've been thinking about a lot of things you wrote. Yeah, I try to put the pieces together. The dates seem to kind of slip. But I guess that maybe that is important, it's just put down some of the issues. Because I wasn't thinking, trying to think how I got involved with the Pacific Science Center. And I was just thinking, last night I was thinking that when my son Tyler was, had a birthday, I was looking for something unique. And walked into the Science Center, and before I knew it, I was talking to them. And before I knew it, they said, "Gee, why don't you come on the board or become an associate or something." And before I knew it, I was there. [Laughs]

BF: [Laughs] "By the way, can I rent the room for free if I become a board member?"

TM: I can't remember. I rented it for a few dollars. But the point is, well, they says, "Why don't you volunteer for this and do that?" And before I know it, I was associate, and I was on the board, and I was even VP in charge of fund-raising that, this one program, some annual fund. That's the year that Lovett passed away. They were very worried. I said, "No, it's a commitment. I think she would want me to continue." So I did that. Then I said, after that, "I'm going to quit." I still stay in touch with them. But that's something that just came out of the association for the desire to some way be good about my son. So I came to, not only to these organizations different ways, but they all kind of seemed to come together. This YMCA organization that I've been a member of the AK Guy Award Committee for the last ten, fifteen years, and off and on. And I remember I got there because Mary Gates called me. And I was trying to think how I knew Mary Gates. I can't remember, but I served on a couple boards with her, and I can't remember. But she called, says, "YMCA has this award committee, and they need some blood." So I said, "Okay." I can't say no to Mary Gates, so I got there, and it's been a good relation. But this year, they didn't ask me to serve, and I was wondering maybe, I thought, well maybe my tenure was up and that was fine. And then they called me, they says, "Well, we'd like to nominate you." But here again, that was something that, why would I be involved with YMCA, but Mary Gates just called one day and said, "Like to ask you to serve on this small committee." And I said, "Hey, that's great." And fortunate thing is, once you get there, there's people you know, like Joel Pritchard was there, and Don Covey was there. And you don't know everybody, but once you know two, three people, it keeps making you feel comfortable.

BF: You are a part of a somewhat select circle in this city.

TM: Yeah.

BF: They're just your friends, but when you kind of step back and look at it objectively, the names you name, those are movers and shakers.

TM: Well, if you look at the program from the AK Guy, I'm the 16th person, 15th person before me, including Scott. There's fourteen out of the fifteen, I think I've had an opportunity to work with.

BF: Yeah.

TM: So that's a unique opportunity. Well, anyway. I appreciate, Tom was there. Scott was there. That was nice.

BF: Yeah. Good.

TM: But, you know, I don't know. Try to make sense of all this, but I -- like I say, you just do the best the can, and at the end of the day it's going to be all over anyway.

BF: When you're six feet under. [Laughs]

TM: Yeah. And then my -- they quoted me in that program, says, my dad said, "You come into the world naked, and you're going leave naked. So while you're here, try to make an impact or do something." That's about all you can afford, that's all you can wish for, I think.

BF: That's good. Wonderful.

<End Segment 23> - Copyright © 1999 Densho. All Rights Reserved.