<Begin Segment 25>

TI: And so when, just fairly recently, when your son started asking questions, and maybe you can tell the story. So how did it come about that you told your son that you were adopted?

RK: Well, actually, he was down in L.A., and I think he went to the Japanese...

TI: Japanese American National Museum.

RK: Yeah. And then he asked me, because he was looking to see, he was trying to do a little history. So he was looking for my name under Kenmotsu, so I just told him, "That's because I'm adopted."

TI: Okay, so when he asked you, he called you and says, "So Dad, I can't find your name," what went through your head at that point?

RK: Well, in a way, to me, it was, oh, it's a relief now, because I got that out of the way. I don't have to hide it anymore. It's not something that I'm proud of.

TI: Why do you think it is that you feel like you, that you had to hide it? What was the feeling or thinking in not telling people?

RK: Well, it's not something that I'm proud of, let's put it that way. The way I was told hurt me really bad, and that's something, probably had something to do with my ulcer. I kept a lot inside. So I just wanted to keep that part of my life quiet.

TI: Yeah, it's kind of like, the way, I guess, I view it is, it was very traumatic for you. It was a traumatic experience, and for you to navigate or survive that, you had to protect yourself, and I think that protector is still with you.

RK: Yeah. In a way, I mean, I just tried to keep things low key, you might want to say. That part of my life, I just don't want to, I just tried to forget it.

TI: At this point in your life where it seems to me that it's safer for you to share this information...

RK: Yeah, I mean, I feel a lot better.

TI: Are there now people that you find yourself telling that you're adopted that you didn't tell before?

RK: No, I haven't kept any secrets other than the fact, you know, the adoption thing.

TI: So doing this interview is a big step for you. Because this is a very, I think, more public way of telling your story, and part of it is being adopted.

RK: Yeah.

TI: Why did you decide to do this? It must have been hard to decide to do this.

RK: To do this?

TI: Yeah.

RK: Well, Derek asked me if I would do this, and I said yeah, because that may bring, make me feel better about some of the ways, some of the things that I grew up with. Get a load off my chest, you might say, get it out in the open instead of trying to throw sand over it.

TI: When you think about what you experienced and everything that you've gone through, and in some ways, growing and opening up like this, are there any... I always ask, kind of like, words of wisdom? Or what did you learn that you think is important for people to know? In some ways, the struggles that you've had...

RK: Probably there's no sense in trying to keep things in yourself. There's no sense in making yourself sick, which is what happened to me. And for a long time, we would go to friends' houses and whatever, and I wouldn't say a lot, because I was keeping things inside, and it's not worth it. Learned that the hard way. So I'm just trying to be as open as I can to everybody about what I went through.

TI: Ron, I just want to thank you for being so open about, you've been incredibly open and vulnerable during this interview, I appreciate this. Because I think your story, in particular, I mean, very much shares what you just said. Sometimes these things happen and it makes you want to not share these things.

RK: There's no sense in getting sick over it.

TI: No, I agree. So, I think, again, thank you for...

RK: But I think a lot of it had to do with the way my dad treated me. He wouldn't speak to me a lot. As a matter of fact, whenever we had dinner, he wouldn't say anything, that's the way he was. So that kind of carried over to me.

TI: And does it ever make you think that, perhaps, your father had something else that he was holding in that was very painful?

RK: That I have no idea.

TI: Because he never shared.

RK: Because he, I guess that's the way it was when he was in Japan, that's the way he was brought up. So that's the way he brought me up.

TI: So my last question is, going forward, are there any thoughts or interest in learning more about the Ota side of your...

RK: Well, going forward, I would say I would have to think about maybe getting to meet them, finding out who they are. For a long time, I even told Derek, "No, I don't want to meet 'em," because that's the way I felt personally. To me, you turned your back on me, so why would I want to talk to you, why would I want to meet you? But then I figure, there's no sense in holding a grudge. They did what they had to do.

TI: Well, in particular, when this interview becomes available, if someone from that family maybe saw this interview and they reached out to you, would you be willing to talk with them?

RK: Sure. Now that things are in the open, you might say.

TI: And I just wanted to mention this because I do want you to understand, there are things that may happen because you told the story with us, and I just wanted you to understand that someone from that family may watch this and says, "Oh, I want to reach out."

RK: I'm open.

TI: Well, anything else you wanted to say? I went through all my questions, was there anything else that...

RK: I feel a lot better, I got everything off, got everything out in the open, you might say.

TI: You are a very good interview. I mean, I really enjoyed it.

RK: Thank you. I've been holding a lot of stuff, a lot of stuff in, but now, you'd say, the weight is off my shoulders now.

TI: Thank you.

<End Segment 25> - Copyright © 2024 Densho. All Rights Reserved.