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IM: So in terms of being in this group of diverse young ladies, could you talk a little bit about maybe if you had interactions with other boys at the time?

KM: Well, not a lot. Because our schools actually aligned with this boys school called Loyola, which was like, these were the two top. If you were like the Catholic school system, these would be the two academically highest schools you'd go to, Immaculate Heart or Ramona Convent on the east side, but Loyola for boys. So they would always do things like, in terms of drama, I was in the Genesian, the drama group, they would have exchanges or they would have actors that would exchange with each other. But that wasn't something I felt, I wouldn't say it was mostly white, but it was mostly white, I think. But there were other minorities that went there, too. So, no, I didn't mix in socially like that. I think I gravitated more towards oddballs, the people that were offbeat, like in my senior year when I really felt disconnected, I kind of drifted more towards people that were considered sort of like, not the bad kids, but they were like the disgruntled ones. You know, they acted like they didn't care about anything. So I gravitated more towards those kind of folks.

IM: So dating wasn't something that was highly, I don't know, encouraged within your social group at Immaculate Heart?

KM: Not within the social group. I did end up dating somebody, but it was a JA person, for my last year. But if I'm honest with myself, I think I only did it because I felt like I had to have a boyfriend. [Laughs] It was like, oh gee, I better have a boyfriend at least once, and do something different, and get that under my belt, something that you should have. So I think that was the only reason I did, sadly.

IM: If you're comfortable, can you tell me a little bit more about how you got to meet this person in your last year?

KM: Oh, which is rather embarrassing, it was at one of those dances. [Laughs] Ironically, and then that's probably why I stopped going is because then I had a boyfriend. But I don't know how comfortable... actually, that's funny you'd pick on that question that I'm probably the least comfortable talking about. Because it wasn't really, I was probably just wanting a boyfriend, but not really into really caring that much about that person, which is kind of a selfish, sad to say, selfish mode of...

IM: So just, you were in it for the personal gain?

KM: Yeah, exactly. Just to say I had a boyfriend.

IM: Did your circle see that and be like, "Oh, wow, Kathy, this is so amazing?"

KM: No. Because actually, none of them had boyfriends except for one of them who was really into that scene, because her boyfriend was a band player for those dances. But she was outside of that circle. She was in the circle but she was different because of that. Everybody else was kind of "dateless," to put it that way.

IM: So, I guess, just one last question and I'll stop the dating thing. What did your parents think at the time of that, or were you old enough at that point where they didn't really care that much that you were dating someone?

KM: No, I think they cared, because I think if I was out late, there was a curfew, and then we'd be sitting outside talking when my father would come out and say it's time to come in. They were very hyper alert about stuff like that, but I was like, I got to do what I got to do.

IM: And so it was mostly your father who was mindful of this rather than your mother?

KM: I think so. But they always waited up. They didn't go to bed 'til I was home, and that was the year that my sister was gone, too, so unfortunately, if my sister had been, might have helped if there was some distraction, but it was just me.

IM: So your sister never told you about what dating was like or anything like that?

KM: Well, she did, because she was dating a Laotian guy from, when she was at SC. And so she was... and I think I went out a couple of times with her friends, not the most fun experience. Yeah, so she was dating this guy. So I observed, and we would talk a lot, except I'm not sure...

IM: One last question then. What did you kind of observe from your sister? Like what are the things that you learned from her when you saw her doing that kind of thing?

KM: That's an interesting question. Well, she was very happy. And I think she often... see, my sister was kind of a funny person. When she liked somebody, they would become the most wonderful person in the world, everything about them was wonderful. So she really, almost everything became like this great person. So that's what I saw from her, they became like bigger than life, kind of like that. But I didn't find that to be case from the people I've met. I didn't glorify them. To me they were not like that. But on the other hand, the people I dated later, she found fault with every single one of them, and she would tear them apart, and they'd always say, "Man, your sister," I'd say, "Yeah, that's my sister."

IM: So she was very protective?

KM: She was protective, "Yeah, they're taking advantage of you, they're not so good."

<End Segment 14> - Copyright © 2023 Densho. All Rights Reserved.