<Begin Segment 11>

SY: I want to get back to that family structure issue because it's interesting to me that you think that in this country the Nisei have a more direct responsibility for their parents.

FK: Well, let me ask you are you a Nisei or a Sansei?

SY: Sansei.

FK: Now if you had children that was say an adult right now would you feel that they feel that they had to take care of you when you get old or when you get to the stage where you... or would they be more, would they accept the fact that well, mom is getting to be in the sixties so we should place her in a retirement home versus no, no, no we're going to take care of her.

SY: That's true, there's a less of a responsibility for young people.

FK: I think so.

SY: And you think that is good or bad?

FK: I think it's good. The burden of a child -- because I was on the other side, I felt very, very strongly that when my dad passed away earlier that I told my mom always don't worry I'm going to take care of you. I will take care of you and it's not because I said that it's just something that I felt I should do and I have to do. And of course my brother and my three sisters at that time they had the same feelings and so I said, "Well, I'll take care of my mom from Sunday to Thursday," and then they would in turn take care of her over the weekend which is Friday, Saturday and then return her to me on Sunday. So they would in turn once a week, since there are four of them and we were doing that and it was doing okay until she broke her hip again. She was at my sister's house and she fell and broke her hip and then at that point it got to a point where they couldn't lift her and then so we looked and we very, very reluctantly I agreed to put her into a nursing home. And it was very difficult, very, very difficult. I'm not saying it that it wasn't difficult for my brother and my sisters, I'm sure it was, but for me especially it was really tough. And I used to go visit her every morning and then every night coming back from work going home and I would check in on her and she's eating and so forth and slowly after a couple of months I began to realize that yes, that was the thing to do because there's twenty four hours in a day and when you're caretaking there's no such thing as you're taking care of person for eight hours or ten hours, it's twenty-four hours. And they get up in the middle of the night and all this kind of stuff and then pretty soon you're tired, you get exhausted and now your voice... you raise your voice every so often and when they don't take their medicine or they don't eat you get upset. So after a few months at Keiro I started realizing that I'm coming well rested and I can come and smile and have good conversation with her and spend good quality time and then I go home and rest and the following morning do the same thing. And that's where I felt that, gosh, that Keiro is a blessing, it is a blessing and there are so many people out there that still have the old feeling of, no I don't care what you say I'm taking care of my parent and they're just wearing themselves out. You just can't do that.

SY: And the Japanese American community was wise enough to set up Keiro.

FK: Yes, thank god for the founders of Keiro.

SY: Yeah, so it's a place so that's kind of happy ending. I assume that's then where your mom passed away after your dad had died.

FK: Yes.

<End Segment 11> - Copyright © 2011 Densho. All Rights Reserved.