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MN: Now earlier you mentioned that you did suffer from nightmares. Do you still suffer from nightmares, and how severe are they?

RW: Well, dreams, I don't know if dreams are considered nightmares or what's considered nightmares, I still have the frightening kind of nightmares that I had, and I still have dreams constantly. I dream almost like every minute I'm asleep. If I'm in bed at 11:30, 12:00, I'll dream and wake up thinking it's three, four in the morning and it's 12:30. And I'll go back to sleep and I'll dream about something and I'll wake up, it's 1:30, two o'clock. I'll wake up three, four times a night and I was dreaming each time. The type of dream is always the same, sort of like I'm lost, can't find my car, impossible situations. Last night I dreamt I was taking somebody to the airport and time was getting short and had to be there by a certain time and the airplane was gonna leave. I'm driving the car, but I'm back in Redlands and I know the roads that it was on, and I started to go up this hill and then the car stopped. And I couldn't press the gas, trying to start, nothing, and it wouldn't start. And then I woke up. But I don't know if those are what you call nightmares. Some nightmares I have, I do have something threatening, like a snake, life threatening things, war, being on a ship going somewhere going to war, wondering how I got there, I am thinking I know I had a house. Another dream last night, I was walking in front of the house, going back to the house in Redlands with my brother-in-law, and he died last year. And in my dream I'm telling myself, gosh, I thought he died, but he's here. I can consciously think of things in my dreams. Some are nightmares. Some are just weird, god awful dreams, trying to play golf, can't find my ball, swing at the ball, missed it, looking for my ball and here's balls all over the place and can't find mine, the one ball. Always something I've lost someplace. Can't find my car, I know I parked it over here on this street, but oh my god, there's no cars here. Things like that.

MN: Did these start after you came back from Korea, or did you always have dreams like this as a child?

RW: I don't remember dreaming as a child at all. Course, some of the dreams, like seeing Madrid, seeing Bat, different times, different ways, that all comes from war. Seeing him on the road, telling him, "Don't go, don't go, something's gonna happen to you," and he just looks back and keeps on walking. One dream I saw his brother come out of this broken down shack sort of like the torn up shacks in Korea, asked his brother, "Where's Bat? Oh, he's coming out." As Bat came walking out I go over to greet him, hug him, he just kind of shrugs his shoulder at me and walks away. Then my feeling is a sad feeling. I wake up with that sad feeling at that point.

MN: Now you weren't aware of post traumatic stress disorder until 2002, and how did you become aware of PTSD and can you tell us a little bit about what, what PTSD is?

RW: Well, PTSD is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and it's the mental effect that your service, war has on you. Right now it's a pretty big thing with those that are coming back from Afghanistan, things like that. And I think a lot of it comes from the fear that's generated, the unknown fear. Like for them, they go out patrol, they're driving down the road, they're on a constant, every minute fear they're gonna be blown up, and that can weigh heavily on you in the future. I've talked to a number of guys and they have nightmares, they have them during while they're awake, they're conscious, they do dangerous things that are reactions. I was walking into my office the other day and, it's really weird, this bird, this large bird, a dove, flew into my large window and it has reflections of across the street so it thought it was just flying down the street and hit that window right next to me with a big bang, and boy, I jumped a mile. My heart was beating a hundred miles an hour. I didn't consciously see a shell exploding, but it certainly weighs on your reaction to something, especially with a sound like that right next to you. I don't know. PTSD is just something affecting a person's mind and gives 'em a lot of problems, dreams, nightmares, stuff like that.

MN: Has it restricted your life?

RW: Well, I think at times it causes a little stress. You get short-tempered. I used to be very short-tempered before. Now that I'm getting older I'm trying to be a little more controllable, not drive so fast like I used to, but it's, it still has an effect on me.

<End Segment 26> - Copyright © 2011 Densho. All Rights Reserved.