<Begin Segment 7>

TI: So this is a good point to ask this question. We've been, this is the third interview and I've learned so much about your activism, and I guess the question is the impact on the family. I mean, here, these activities you talk about, they take over your life. They threaten your safety. What was that impact on your family, your wife, your kids?

[Interruption]

TI: Okay, so, Bob, go ahead and tell me about the impact on your family.

BS: As you become an activist, as I became an activist and I, and there were times where you're out in demonstrations, you have all this turmoil and you're in the wrong place at the right time and you get busted, you get arrested, and you have to call home and say -- my wife, Anita at that time, and we had six children -- and I'd say, "We got any, is there any money for bail?" And first couple of times she, "The guy's an activist," and she went along with that, but after a while, through the years, I think it started to wear on the family. I wasn't there. With the six kids she took, she took the kids to practice every day, and I would make sure I made it to the games, but not to practice. We shared all the duties at home, three, four days a week I would cook, right? I mean, I made sure I'd get home. There were some days I'd miss those dates that I had promised to be home because of a meeting or a demonstration somewhere, so that started to weigh on the marriage, actually. And there's one, there was a couple of times, one of 'em, Silme Domingo came to me and said, "Bob, one of our brothers is in jail and we need to bail him out because he's, his immigration status. They're gonna deport him. So you're one of the only guys in the movement that owns a house. Would you be willing to put your house up for bail?" And I did. And the first time that happened Sharon reluctantly -- not Sharon.

TI: Anita.

BS: Anita reluctantly signed off on it, but the second time it happened she said, "This is the last time. You can't do that to us. You can't do that to the family. I don't even know these guys." That's what Anita said. "I don't even know who you're, who you're trying to help." And so after a few years she said, "Hey, Bob, sit down here. Why don't you save the world, and I'll raise the family?" And so we parted in a pretty good, pretty good situation where we understood what each of us were trying to do, and I put a lot of pressure on the family. So that's the tough part. You lose, you lose people in your family. You lose your wife, you lose, I never lost my kids. I kept hold of them, and visiting privileges were, were I'd have to let her know when I was, when I wanted to visit the kids, and she would always open, she was always open to that. There was never any problems with that. Everything was split down the center.

TI: So when that happened did that make you pause and reflect about your life and what you were doing?

BS: Yeah. It, it really did, you know? But you look around and you're not the only one. You're lookin' at, a lot of folks in political life were in danger of losing families because of your, all your waking hours are spent trying to serve the people, and for some people that's not, it's really not fair because they don't have that same commitment to serve the people that you're serving. So it impacts you a lot, but you have to weigh it, and you're saying, this is not gonna, these folks aren't gonna need my help forever. There's gonna be a point where I'm gonna be able to spend more time, and it never happens.

TI: And when this happened -- I'm sure it was a low point in your life -- who were the friends who came to you to help you?

BS: Oh, they all did. They all offered, they all offered to help. I had to move out, and my staff at InterIm, they all understood that. They understood her concerns and they understood mine, and so they were always, they were always there willing to help me in this period of time. And sort of, at that time I sort of jumped into a relationship, and it wasn't very good, but it was, kept my mind off of the family problem at that time. And eventually kids grew up and moved out of the old house, and they had their own families, and so my first wife, Anita, kept the house and we became closer. I've been married three times. Sharon Tomiko is my third wife, and Sharon and Anita became very close. And it's hard to hate a guy like me, right, forever. [Laughs]

TI: [Laughs] And, Bob, when did the divorce happen? When was that?

BS: It was in early '80s.

TI: Okay, early '80s. Now, thank you for sharing that, I know that's hard.

<End Segment 7> - Copyright © 2011 Densho. All Rights Reserved.