<Begin Segment 27>

SF: Would that suggest that we should train -- say as parents or even as community folks, other JAs to be more articulate, or is that a...?

RI: I don't know if people who are handicapped themselves can train. Because in a way they're a core of the problem in not having struggled with it themselves when they were younger. By the time you realize it in your kid or your grandchildren, it's kinda late. But I think a lot of that will just take, take care of itself as we have more and more intermarriage. But again, as we have more capabilities to verbalize, it does open up a whole new can of worms, right? I mean sometimes they say silence is golden and endurance with problems may be just as effective as talking it out. I think our parents endured a lot. I know I used to have all these terrible experiences getting beat up going to school, or being in the Cub Scouts and never getting one badge, or you know, and just being insulted. And I come home, my parents never said a word about it. Now if I were in another, say a white family, they might've said, "Oh, let's go talk to the principal, let's..." Maybe you need to see a therapist on top of that. And here is this silence like it never happened. And I'm not sure what is better. I suffered the pain alone. But at the same time it didn't last very long I don't think, because it wasn't brought up again and again for people to remind me of my bad feelings. So that's a very difficult question. You know like the Cambodian refugees came here from terrible death and destruction. They come here and they're, they're steered right to counselors. And the counselors who are usually white sit there and go, "Oh, I understand you lost your mother, father, and your younger sister and they were murdered and all that. Do you want to talk about it?" And the refugee would go, "No. That was already a year and a half ago. I want to find out, how -- where I can live, get a job." And the therapist would go, "No, no, no, no. I know you have to talk about it, or you can't move on." So there's this thing, you have to talk it out. And the refugee would be thinking, "I don't want to relive it again. It's much too painful. It's nothing like you're talking about. So just let me move on." So they're at loggerheads this way. And they're both equally convinced that -- the therapist is convinced this person needs to work it out. This person says, "No, it's already worked out in my own way." And, so I think that very much reflects on our experience too.

SF: So with Asian American clients, do you think... which of those two kind of approaches might be generally more advantageous?

RI: I don't think they have a choice, really. I think it's, again, boils down to the individual in terms of... I think the majority would find it easier to have a therapist who doesn't keep pressing them to come up with emotions that they don't feel. And process is not within the therapy room, but just by redirecting their energy to other things. This is what Morita therapy does. It puts you back into your work and your play, and all that. 'Cause mulling over things doesn't change it. If anything you could, you could look back on it, but, and reinterpret it in a kinder way perhaps. I suppose if you had an abusive parent, you could look back for the purpose of seeing that my father was like that because of his upbringing. Maybe he was doing the best he could and then move on from there. But if you're asked to remember every incidence of abuse and relive it and cry and everything, then, that's a terrible ordeal -- that's unnecessary. So, I don't know which is better. Some people prefer that. And others prefer to go on. I think the profession should honor their preference. It's not easy either way.

<End Segment 27> - Copyright © 1999 Densho. All Rights Reserved.