<Begin Segment 34>

BK: You had mentioned earlier that you had met Steve at Tomonokai.

MH: Uh-huh.

BK: You also had mentioned that you're living with your partner, Steve.

MH: Uh-huh.

BK: Things are very different now...

MH Oh, yes.

BK: ...than they were, you know, thirty years ago. Nowadays, it seems as though that people have so many more choices. How difficult was it to make the decision to live together, rather than marry?

MH: It, at first I was really more afraid of my family. I didn't know, when we decided that we were gonna try this, what we should do. And it was just for the companionship. I talked to -- well, Ken has been kinda the spokesman for our family all along, since we were... Ak is very, very quiet. Sho wasn't here. Ted is kinda quiet. And so I went to him and I says, "I'm thinking of moving there." He says, "Well, I kept thinking, I see your car over there all the time." Because my brother-in-law only lived a half-block from here. And he said, every time he'd go by, he thought he saw my car. So I says, "Well, what do you think?" And he says, "You know, Mary, they're gonna talk about you no matter what you do. You're a widow. You're..." So he said, "Do what makes you happy."

BK: So you had the support...

MH: Oh, yeah.

BK: ...of, you know, of your family.

MH: And what makes it even nicer is I have the support from his family. They've never -- in fact, we've traveled with his oldest brother, who was always the big boss in their family on trips, and it's really, really nice, because they have supported me in all this.

BK: So it was the right decision.

MH: Yeah.

BK: For both of you.

MH: For us, it was. I don't know whether it would be for everybody. And we talked about getting married, but Steve said, "It's just a piece of paper." So... and I've been here nine years now.

BK: What were the reactions from your friends?

MH: Nobody ever really, really seemed to think too much. They just say, "Oh, your friend." That's what... it was, I was lucky there. And all the family's been very supportive. My sister was gone, and that's the only thing I feel bad about. 'Cause she'd already passed away, and we were so close, it was like -- I talked to her every day. You know, nobody to talk to. It's kinda hard to be alone and not have anybody. And your kids are all, my kids were busy. Bev was in school, Rodney's working, she had classes, so...

BK: So it is nice to have a companion.

MH: Yeah. Yeah, we do a lot together.

<End Segment 34> - Copyright © 1998 Densho. All Rights Reserved.