<Begin Segment 28>

AI: Well, I wanted to ask you more about -- you had mentioned Alta's comment about the men in your life. And maybe you could tell a little bit more about Yosh, your husband, because he did not have the same kind of background and upbringing as you.

MY: As a matter of fact, I think my mother saved me because my husband was the oldest son of a very traditional mother in Hawaii and he had very, very specific dietary needs, you know, he didn't like a lot of things. He loved Japanese food and that was before you could go to the corner and get sushi, and so when the children were growing up, I used to tell him, okay, your mom used to make -- if he didn't like something, like if the children were eating macaroni and cheese, you have to eat macaroni and cheese. He hated macaroni and cheese. He, but his needs were very simple. He just liked ochazuke, if I bought, if I made some otsukemono with cabbage and so forth, he was very happy eating that. And then when my mother came to live with us, she said, "Maa, kawaiso ni," she would say. [Laughs] She was mortified that I was treating my husband like one of the kids, and she said -- so she started cooking separately for him. And then she started to wait on him and she would make his coffee, and she would pour it in a cup and then she would put the sugar in it and she would take a spoon and she would stir it, and then give it to him on a saucer. And so I remember one day my mother went to visit one of my brothers, which she often did, and Yosh said he'd like a cup of coffee so I just poured a cup of coffee and handed it to him. And he was, "Ah, this doesn't have any sugar in it." And I said, "Well, I'm sorry, the sugar is right there, you could put it in yourself and you could stir it. I'm not going to be like my mom." [Laughs] And then, or eating oranges, you know, he never ate oranges because, he loved oranges but he wouldn't eat it because it was too much trouble to peel it. So my mother would peel it, she would divide it into little sections, she would put it on a little platter and you know, like a silver platter. And I'm going, oh -- and then she should, and then she saw Yosh, he was going on a lot of trips on his business trips and so he, the night before, got the little shoe shine thing out that we had, which he had bought and he was shining his shoes, and my mother looked at that and she looked at me and she said, "Mo, what is the matter with you? I trained you better than this, as a housewife. You shouldn't let your husband polish his own shoes." So she started polishing his shoes. I said, "Well, he used to do that in the army," you know, he was kind of an orderly for his officer, you know, he used to, and I said, "He knows how to do it better than me." [Laughs] And, so on and on, my mother in the sixteen years she lived with me, with us, she waited on him, and they loved each other. They just got along so well, better than my mother and I. So I thought that was, so we were really a wonderful trio of people, and she was like my wife, you know, she'd get up in the morning and make my lunch and make my coffee, and I'd take my lunch and go to work. And I would have to, of course, pick up some gro-, you know, she didn't drive so I'd have to pick up the groceries and come home and plan the meal, but she would cook it. But we, and then she had the house cleaned and so forth. And sent my husband, we had a laundry, dry cleaning person to come to pick up the dry cleaning so she would gather his dirty clothes. He had to do that before, by himself.

But, when I was, so I was working, I was getting involved in the women's movement, and my husband, as I said, made a lot of jokes about it. So did my brothers. But he never, he never interfered with the things I wanted to do. If I wanted to go to a rally or a protest march against, against the anti-abortion people or something like that, he was right there and he was willing to take care of the kids and stay home, and do that. We did have funny little things going on because one day he wanted to, he had to go on a business trip for the American Chemical Association meeting when he was giving a paper. And I said, "How long will you be gone?" He said, "Well, I think I'll probably -- I have two sessions and I'll probably be gone for about four days," because it was in Philadelphia or something, and when you go to the East Coast it takes a whole day to travel and then come back. And I said, "Why don't you take Hedi with you?" Hedi was about five or six years old at that time. I said, "Why don't you take her with you?" "Why would I take her?" I said, "Well, because I have this thing going on," and she was in kindergarten or first grade and she came home in the middle of the day. You know how that is where the first grade and kindergartners, they don't go to school for the whole day yet. And I, we didn't have like after school daycare the way that my daughter has. So I have to get a babysitter and Mom was gone, and because she was with us so much, we had no person, I didn't want to call just anybody to take care of her. And so I was telling him, and he said, and I said, "Well, look, when I go to a conference in the women's movement, they always have child care. Now why doesn't the American Chemical Association encourage their men to bring their children and have daycare so they could -- [laughs] -- to free their wives and so that they can bring their small children and put their children in daycare, and then you can go to your meetings." He said, "Well, I'm afraid they haven't gotten to that point yet." So I was just trying to make a -- I didn't think he would do it -- but I was just trying to make a point. And so my husband was telling, telling my brothers, you know, "Your sister is something else." [Laughs] And my brother said, "Well, it's your own fault. You're the one who married her." [Laughs]

<End Segment 28> - Copyright © 2002 Densho. All Rights Reserved.